My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
