i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
