when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
