it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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