It's Friday. Sex?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
