i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
