just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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