i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
sex in a hospital.. check
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
