i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
