just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
