Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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