enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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