Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
