I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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