This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
