Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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