He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize