Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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