I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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