she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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