Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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