What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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