butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
