My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
