you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
