what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize