dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Damn victory sex feels great
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
