i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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