gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
