and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
