This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
