I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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