I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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