I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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