I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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