he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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