Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
