and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize