rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
