i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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