and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
