I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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