He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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