Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This toilet bowl is my home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
