wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
