She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
