We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
