i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
