There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
