D3 body, D1 cock
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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