How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
