I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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