It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
