Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
