i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
