i may or may not be watching the land before time
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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