Sponge bath it is.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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