she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
