I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize